The technical update

It’s just dawned on me that saying I am seeing the specialist and then not writing what he said is probably bad form.

I saw Dr Chak yesterday. That’s not his real name. It could be Chakrapani or Chakrabani or something completely different. But anyway, he is nice. He is the replacement Oncologist for Dr Deane who saw me once at the start of all this and then retired. I have seen several people, but never felt like I have an Oncologist as such. So Chakkers is it.

To be honest, not a lot to be said. He reduced my steroids from 2×4 a day to 2×3 a day. He said it was better to have 10 radiotherapies instead of the original planned 5 (which is a little shame…if it was only 5, I would be done tomorrow!). I am still taking the Tamoxifin and that will continue. I am also taking Lansaprazole to stop the stomach ulcer. Honestly, cancer or no cancer, stomach ulcer is THE most painful thing in the world and I am so glad it’s under control!

SJ has got all the troops on Pixie Patrol this week as I am not allowed to drive. I hate it. But I am getting used to it. And of course, I really appreciate everyone running round after me! Maybe being a lazy cow will suit me! Today or tomorrow I want to challenge myself to go out by myself. Since the dizziness started, it has scared me. But maybe not driving won’t seem so bad if I know I can walk and bus it. I don’t hate public transport, so perhaps it will be cool!

Anyway, there I go on a tangent again! Chakkers couldn’t tell me an awful lot more. I am keen to know prognosis…they started saying 1 to 5 years. He says it now more depends on the CT scan booked for next Tuesday and whether it’s off anywhere else. He thinks 18-24 months. It’s all numbers which mean a load of crap, really. I’ve been thinking about it and realistically, I’m gonna live longer than some people I know. No one knows what is around the corner. The most important thing is to make the best of everything and every day.

Yesterday was a lovely day – the sun shone, it was freezing, we got my car started and ended up on an inpromutu walk in Wareham Woods, followed by a nap. I am blessed with my life and the people in it 🙂

10 responses to “The technical update

  1. off topic slightly, but I dare to call you chakkers to his face… much funnyness!!!!

    Its nice to have a rota for your little trips, gives everyone the chance to help out.

    Am hugely proud of how you are handing all this, everyone is saying that they don’t know what they would do if it was them, but you are taking your time, and doing it your own way, and that is the most important thing.

    Like you said its not a personality transplant.

    People should be inspired by you Sarah, inspired to get off their ass and live their own lives as if they only had 18-24 months or whatever other stupid numbers they bandy around.

    I’m not worried about what the future holds for you, or our friendship. I’m delighted to see the progress of your eyebrows on a daily basis and have you take the piss out of my boyfriend choices as you always have and always will, regardless of prognosis.

    Chakka Khan is a lucky sod getting you as a patient!!!

    Love always gorgeous girl xxx


  2. Loving SJ’s comment.

    Best friends are the best things in the world (other than a great chap – but we know Sarah has that – better than chocolate no less!!!) and always tell you how it is not sometimes what others may think you want to hear. The relationship you two have is so great and our love, support and thoughts go out to you both xxx

  3. SJ

    If you need any others to help ferry Sarah around I have offered – just let me know!

    Completely agree with you about Sarah being an inspiration – she is to me.


  4. Sarah,

    My last appointment with oncology was not very satisfactory – with whatever her name was who was filling in for Dr Dean (who was sooooooooo lovely). At the desk afterwards we were told we’d be seeing Dr Chak in March. Turns out we’d heard that name the very same day when someone told us the name the people moving into the house opposite ours!! Can’t be too many of that name we thought. Sure enough, I now live opposite my oncologist. Not sure its a good thing or bad. Feel like I have to behave now!!

    Loads of love gorgeous.
    Steffie xxxx

  5. Keep your chin up……im constantly rooting for ya

  6. I’ve left you a phone message about the 4community magazine article, then read this update which sure ups the ante. Would love to talk to you if you’re up to it: right words obviously difficult to find, particularly as I don’t know you very well. Just want to add that my thoughts are with you and that if you want to document this goddam thing in the 4N mag, then we could work on it…email or call me on 07891 653182. Mark BT

  7. I found you through 4N and read Brad’s Tweet today, I wanna say I’m sorry but that feels a bit shit as I’m sure you don’t want my sympathy you seem far too strong for that. I’m sure you will enjoy everything life throws at you in some form or another and you really are an inspiration to us all. Thank you

  8. Hey Pash i would just like to say sorry to hear your news i think you are a great fighter and carry on.Mum has told me all about you and your story i think you are amazing!I will be doing the race for life this year for my family and friends i have lost and also my aunt that is fighting breast cancer too!I will be wearing your name on my shirt to show my shear admiration for you!Keep well big hugs

  9. Hi girl
    not sure if I have contacted you before now. I’m a friend of Claire Bayly & was diag with bc aug 2007 (full mast, chemo, radio & now coming to the end of herceptin plus another 3.5 yrs of tamoxifen). I appar dont have the best diag but also not the worst. Every silver lining has a cloud seems to be my mantra. What I wanted to say was bollocks for you. I’m so bloody sorry you (and I) are part of this epidemic that has the western world gripped. I am loving your will to squeeze every last drop of good out of every day. From day 1 I was determined the cancer had my breast and l/nodes and as far as I know thats it. Not my soul or my thoughts. God if only I knew 20 years ago how to approach life as I do now. I long to gift this fantastic feeling as a gift to all the fab friends & family I have. I too am blessed beyond words and when I arrive at the date my name is in the Big Book in the sky so be it. It will happen to us all but we have a heads up. So many die without a chance of a goodbye etc. We only have today and every single one since D (diag) day and until I take my last breath will be based on anything and everything that is good and so far I havent been disappointed. I wish you love and peace and happiness – no I’m not a hippy but the words convey what I want them to. Continue being brave and dont give in to the crap. If I could hug you I would xxx

  10. Floods of tears from this end ……. love you Sarah and Caroline,, bless you xxxx

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